Spike Milligan's ABC poem

Spike Milligan [1918-2002] was born in India, the son of a highly mobile British military officer and spent his childhood in various places in the Far East. In his lifetime he found fame as actor / comedian / director / playwright / poet / author  but is most famous as one of the original 'Goons'

Recently this poem has been made popular by Tom Wilson to help promote his debut tour, ‘The A–Z of Me’, Tom Read Wilson uses the alphabet to share stories, poems and his love of language. Here's the poem by Spike Milligan and the link to the video with Tom Wilson reading it https://www.facebook.com/bbc/videos/for-his-debut-tour-the-az-of-me-tom-read-wilson-uses-the-alphabet-to-share-stori/27446714408315860/

The ABC :

'Twas midnight in the schoolroom

And every desk was shut

When suddenly from the alphabet 

Was heard a loud "Tut-Tut!"

Said A to B, "I don't like C;

His manners are a lack.

For all I ever see of C

Is a semi-circular back!"

"I disagree," said D to B,

"I've never found C so.

From where I stand he seems to be

An uncompleted O."

C was vexed, "I'm much perplexed,

You criticise my shape.

I'm made like that, to help spell Cat

And Cow and Cool and Cape."

"He's right" said E; said F, "Whoopee!"

Said G, "'Ip, 'Ip, 'ooray!"

"You're dropping me," roared H to G.

"Don't do it please I pray."

"Out of my way," LL said to K.

"I'll make poor I look ILL."

To stop this stunt J stood in front,

And presto! ILL was JILL.

"U know," said V, "that W

Is twice the age of me.

For as a Roman V is five

I'm half as young as he."

X and Y yawned sleepily,

"Look at the time!" they said.

"Let's all get off to beddy byes."

They did, then "Z-z-z."